The Second Favourite Parent

The often maligned one, the overlooked one, the bullied one, the exploited one and sometimes the forgotten one. We might be called the silly ones too because we actually enjoy being the targets of such abuse.

To match the earlier entry on mother's job description, here's an equally funny take on daddy's.

  • Cheerleader: Dad will strive to be available for, present at, and loudly cheering during sports, music, dance, and other performances beginning at birth and throughout the lifetime of the child.
  • Energy Conservationist: Dad will ensure that all lights, faucets, and windows are appropriately off or closed when the child is unable or unwilling to do so in order toconserve money for food and clothing.
  • Garbage Disposal: Dad will regularly clean child’s dishes by consuming remaining bits of food and drink after meals in order to avoid wasting said food and drink. By doing so, he is teaching frugality and preserving landfills.
  • Style Magnet: Dad will not shop at expensive clothing stores like his daughters do. Instead, to pay for his kids clothes, he will ensure that he wears everything for at least 10 years or at least until its way out of style.
  • Practical Plumber: Dad will learn to use the plunger when toilet clogs occur, will understand how to pull long hair out of the bathroom sink, and will stop leaking pipes. Dad should also strive to use those same skills to repair yard sprinklers that have been run over by a teenage driver.
  • Humble Auto Enthusiast: Dad will replace love of all things cool for all things practical in the automotive industry. Minivans will be the new “Porsche” to the dad mind-set in order to appreciate and praise the type of vehicle that can actually get the family over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house.
  • Handyman: Dad must be willing to fix or try to fix almost anything, anytime, anywhere. Dad may consult YouTube for demonstration videos as necessary.
  • Gatekeeper: Dad must determine what young man or young woman he will let into his daughter or son’s life. Dad must always interview said person before any date occurs with his teen. And you may find yourself giving dating advice when you don’t want to give your blessing.
  • Casual Coach: Coaching is an ongoing priority for dad starting with potty training and continuing with teaching his child to swim, throw a ball, ride bike, and drive. Dad mustcoach his kids in basic manners and how to treat others with honor and respect.
  • Counselor: Dad must be willing to listen about…and not always fix…the challenges or problems in a child’s life, particularly as the child gets older.
  • Thermostat: Dad must regulate the climate in the home, not just reflect the mood of his kids like a thermometer.